02 / The Problem
You didn't buy a hobby. You bought a machine that makes money. When that machine slows down or breaks, abandoned carts stack up. Ad spend burns against a 500 error. Google drops your rankings. The longer it runs, the more expensive the fix becomes.
You don't need a strategy deck. You need the site fast and functional before close of business.
Incident
Earnings Impact
Checkout failure during active traffic
Orders stop
500 error under paid campaign load
Ad spend wasted
Slow product or booking pages
Conversions drop
Hacked install or malware warning
Trust collapses
What is your slow site actually costing you?
If your site is in the 'Below 50' bucket, you are likely losing a significant percentage of your daily profit.
PageSpeed Score
LCP (Load Time)
Est. Profit Leak (Per £1,000 Sales)
80–100
Under 1.5s
Negligible
50–79
2.5s – 4s
~£100 – £150 lost per day
Below 50
5s+
~£250 – £400 lost per day
Note: These figures are estimates based on standard conversion drop-offs. If you are doing higher volume, your losses are significantly higher.
03 / The Offer
Diagnostic Triage — £125, flat.
Rapid Technical Audit: Full trace of database, queries, and plugin performance.
No Vague Reports: You get a specific root-cause report, not "it might be caching."
Fixed-Price Quote: Approve or walk away. No hourly billing, no hidden fees.
Risk-Free: £125 is credited against the repair. If I can't identify the cause, you pay nothing.
04 / Operational Boundaries
How this works. And how it doesn't.
Email only: Written records mean no lost time.
No calls: No 45-minute discovery meetings. We work, we don't talk.
Technical only: Zero fluff. No design, no SEO, no marketing.
One engineer: The person diagnosing is the person fixing.
If you need a phone call, a project manager, or a Slack channel — this isn't the right service.
05 / Real Results
"Total site crash restored in 12 hours. No upselling, just the fix." — E. Morrison, WooCommerce
"Malware gone and back in Google index within 48 hours." — D. Abubakar, eCommerce
"Load time dropped from 9 seconds to 2. Real numbers, no estimates." — R. Petrov, News Blog
06 / How To Start (In Under 30 Seconds)
01 Pay: £125 diagnostic fee via card or bank transfer.
02 Reply: Send the site URL, access details, and a one-line description of the issue.
03 Fix: Get your diagnosis and fixed-price quote back — usually same working day.